I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
