The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
