I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
