"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
