he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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