I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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