If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
