If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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