I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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