capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
