I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
