He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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