I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
