i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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