Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
