I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
