Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Sex in the backyard? Check.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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