I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
