its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
