I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Im part way to drunk.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
