Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
