I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
