"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
