you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
