just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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