After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
