her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We talked him into tasing himself.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
