So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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