yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
