Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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