I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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