Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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