Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
