I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
