I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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