i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
