i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Randomize
