The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
