Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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