I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
