The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
