I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
