I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
