When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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