i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
being pregnant is like rehab
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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