rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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