Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
