my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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