yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
