So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
vagina is talking i cant
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
