It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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