Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
