Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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