I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it glows. i had to have it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
